Sometimes you've got to suck it up and admit defeat

Occasionally a recipe doesn't go quite as I planned. But because my mother raised me to never, ever, ever let food go to waste, I'm still forced to stomach my own failures.

Maybe I'm being a little harsh. The butternut squash chowder wasn't THAT bad, but it certainly wasn't the glorious concoction I envisioned. It was saved by hot sauce. Hot sauce solves all the world's problems.

The recipe that I used this time (lacking in oomph pre-hot sauce):

1.5 pounds butternut squash, peeled and chopped.

1/4 cup onion diced

1 tablespoon butter or olive oil

1 tablespoon flour

1 cup frozen corn

16 oz can chicken broth

1 tablespoon brown sugar

1/8 tablespoon cinnamon

2 cups 2% milk.

2 generous dashes hot sauce.

Bring quart of water to a boil, add squash. Cook until tender, then drain and puree. In pot, cook onion and flour in butter. Add squash and all other ingredients except for milk. Bring to boil. Add milk and reduce heat, cook for ten minutes (do not boil). Add hot sauce, more hot sauce, more!

Hey, at least Cannoli liked it.

The recipe that I'll use next time:

1.5 pounds butternut squash, peeled and chopped.

1/4 cup onion diced

16 oz can chicken broth

2 red potatoes, washed and chopped.

1 cup frozen corn

1 tablespoon brown sugar

1/8 tablespoon cinnamon

1 cup half and half

hot sauce to taste

Bring quart of water to a boil, add squash. Cook until tender, then drain and puree. Add squash and all other ingredients back into pot, except for cream. Bring to boil and cook until potatoes are tender. Add cream and reduce heat, cook for ten minutes (do not boil). Add hot sauce to taste.

Or does anybody else have any other suggestions on transforming this dish from "eh" "I'mwillingtosellyoumyfirstbornforasecondbowl"?

Super Bowl Sunday Squash-Date-Bran Muffins

I have a bit of an obsession with gourds. Those close to me know about my...whispers...pumpkin problem. I will find an excuse to put pumpkin in anything. Pumpkin Penne with Spinach, Pumpkin Eggplant Goat Cheese Lasagna, Pumpkin Risotto, Pumpkin Cheesecake, Pumpkin Pie filling straight out of the can...I almost cried when Dunkin Donuts discontinued the Pumpkin Latte for the year. Yeah, I need an intervention. My strong love of pumpkin extends to other gourds. I've never met a squash I didn't like. This morning I woke up with a craving for pumpkin muffins, but alas, the cupboard was barren. I did, however, have a ton of butternut squash in the fridge that was on sale.

I was reminded of an exchange I had with an Italian chef. I saw him scooping out a butternut squash and asked if there was a butternut squash ravioli or gnocchi special on the menu that night. He replied, "No, it's for the pumpkin ravioli." "There's butternut squash in the pumpkin ravioli?" I asked. "What's the difference between this and pumpkin?" he said, "Zucca is zucca."

Yes! Pumpkin, squash, it's all the same! I boiled and pureed the squash and proceeded to treat it like I would a pumpkin when making muffins. The squash also stood in for egg in this recipe. I don't have anything against eggs at all (what's that old adage? you have eggs, you have a meal), but why not cut down on cholesterol where you can?

The end result was a hearty muffin - manly enough to please any guy prepping for the Super Bowl and therefore not interested in sissy-fied sweet treats, yet just pumpkin-like enough to make zucca-fiends like me happy. Granted, there are no such men at my apartment at the moment and my boyfriend doesn't watch football, but the recipe is still totally appropriate for today.

Squash Date Bran Muffins (makes six muffins)

Ingredients

1/3 pound of butternut squash, peeled and chopped.

1 cup whole wheat flour

1/4 cup wheat bran

1/4 cup chopped dates

1/3 cup milk

1/2 cup of brown sugar

1/8 cup regular sugar

1/2 tablespoon of cinnamon

1 teaspoon of nutmeg

1 teaspoon ginger

1/2 teaspoon cloves

1 teaspoon of baking soda

pinch of salt

Directions

Boil water, add squash and cook until tender, about 10-15 minutes.

Drain squash and puree.

Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees.

In bowl, mix pureed squash, 1/2 cup of brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and cloves. Taste and adjust, a pinch more cinnamon and brown sugar may be needed. It should taste more or less like pumpkin pie filling, just a little less sweet.

To squash mixture, add flour, baking soda, bran, regular sugar, chopped dates, milk and salt. Mix ingredients together, batter should be slightly lumpy when done.

Grease muffin tin or line with paper cups. Fill each cup 3/4 of the way full. Bake for 13-15 minutes until golden brown. Enjoy!

Fat Kid Friday: Takeout Made-In

Since I was a little, Friday has always felt like takeout (or delivery) day. Every Friday, my mom would get off work and then she and I would either go somewhere to pickup food or we'd go to the toy store and then go home and order delivery. My favorite thing to get was spinach stuffed pizza. Or a meatball sub. Or sweet and sour chicken. Or a shawarma and french fries. Yeah, you can see why I was fat kid.

Anyway, today I was having that takeout craving but since I just bought a ton of groceries to survive this apocalyptic blizzard they're predicting for Brooklyn, I felt it would be a waste to order out. I had a taste for Thai, but Udom would have to get my business another night. On the menu? Tom Kha and Thai Noodles and Beef with Peanut Sauce.

Okay, admittedly, I didn't make the Tom Kha from scratch. I bought a can of Amy's Thai Coconut Soup. It was alright. I added a little lime juice and hot sauce to spruce it up. I would have liked more mushroom and tofu and in the future, I'm going to add more veggies and a little brown rice to make it heartier like this ingenious individual. Still, Amy's did the trick for a last minute craving.

My Noodles and Beef were super-simple to make and the recipe follows below. If I'd had rice noodles or soba, I would have used them, but semolina never fails. Next time around, I'll add some green beans and asparagus to give the illusion of healthiness, as well :)

Thai Noodles and Beef with Peanut Sauce (for 2)

Ingredients

4 ounces angel hair (or regular spaghetti, soba, rice noodles, etc.)

Thai Peanut Sauce:

1 cup reduced-sodium beef broth

1/2 cup water

1 tablespoon reduced-sodium soy sauce

1 tablespoon peanut butter

1 teaspoon sesame oil

1 teaspoon hot sauce

1 teaspoon lime juice

Beef:

1 tablespoon sesame oil

1 teaspoon powdered ginger

2 tablespoons garlic

1 medium red bell pepper

1/2 pound lean beef steak, cut into strops

2 eggs

Directions

Cook the noodles until al dente. Drain and transfer to bowl.

In a medium saucepan, whisk together the sauce ingredients until well blended and bring to a boil. Once the sauce boils, turn heat down to medium and let simmer for 10 minutes.

Heat the sesame oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the bell pepper, ginger, garlic and beef, cook for about 3 minutes, continuously stirring. Add eggs one at a time and scramble with the rest of the mixture, stirring frequently to not burn. Add 1 cup of the peanut sauce and simmer until the beef is cooked through, about 3 minutes.

Toss remaining peanut sauce with noodles. Serve beef, peppers and eggs over noodles in bowl.

Enjoy! Stay warm in the snow tonight, Brooklyn.

Grammy night grub

I like to make award show watching eventful. Good food makes me happy and when I'm happy, I'm less apt to throw something at the TV screen if I disagree. For this year's Grammy awards, I opted to make Faux Crab Cakes and Orange-Almond-Pignoli Couscous.

The faux crab cakes were a bootleg take on my grandma's version. She made stuffing from scratch, then combined lump crab meat, egg and seasoning. I'm almost embarrassed to tell you about my version, but it was a big hit so I'll be brave - 1 box low sodium Stovetop stuffing (*hides*), 3 packages of Chicken of the Sea imitation crab, two eggs, lots of pepper and a dash of lemon and hot sauce. I mixed everything in a large bowl, then fried the cakes in 2 tablespoons of olive oil, about 4 minutes on each side, medium - high heat. I had to use imitation crab because I'm quite allergic to the real stuff, a great source of sorrow and shame when I was growing up in Maryland.

The couscous was a variation on this recipe from Rachael Ray (I like to think of myself as a less chipper, more misanthropic version of her). I added the pignoli nuts and instead of just toasted, plain almonds, I coated them in olive oil and grated parmesan beforehand. I also always add a little honey to my couscous. The dish was simultaneously salty, tangy and a bit sweet. It was better the next day, but even so, it couldn't quell the pain from that Stevie Nicks/Taylor Swift duet.

Thanks again to Stephen Cafe for his superior photography skills. I pay him in sustenance.

Dreary Day Dinner - Cheddar Corn Chowder

There are few better things to eat on a cold, dreary day than chowder. I actually made this last night, but the left-overs are perfect for today.

As always, please forgive my poor photography skills.

The recipe, as adapted from All Recipes:

Ingredients

• 3 tablespoons butter
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 1 large red potato, skin on and diced
• 1 bay leaf
• 1/2 teaspoon cumin
• 1/4 teaspoon dried sage
• 3 tablespoons whole-wheat flour
• 2 cups chicken stock
• 1 1/2 cups half and half
• 1 1/2 cups frozen corn kernels
• 2 tablespoons chopped parsley
• 1/4 cup water
• 1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
• pepper to taste

Directions

1. In a large saucepan over medium high heat, melt the butter and stir in the onion, potato, bay leaf, cumin, and sage. Saute about 5 minutes, until the onion is tender. Mix in the flour, coating the onion and potato. Pour in the chicken stock and half and half. Bring to a boil, whisking constantly until smooth. Reduce heat, and simmer 30 minutes, stirring frequently, until the potato is tender.
2. Mix the corn, parsley and water into the saucepan, and cook about 5 minutes, until heated through. Remove the bay leaf, and stir in the Cheddar cheese until melted and blended. Season with pepper.

Six servings.

Some notable changes I made to the recipe: the use of half and half instead of milk (because it's the only real dairy I had in the house), decreasing onion (not a huge fan), omission of chives (didn't have them), red potato instead of white and keeping the skin on (I like the color), whole wheat flour instead of white and using water instead of wine in the final steps. I did have white wine around but I think people put too much salt in their food, preventing them from tasting the other flavors. Between the stock, the cheese and the butter, this dish had more than enough sodium and it benefited from a little watering down. I also decreased the amount of cheese from two cups down to one - holy lactose intolerance, Batman!

Sooooo comforting. Happy eating, Brooklyn.

Veal Kofta Extravaganza

So I imagined I'd start up this blog a little sooner, but better late than never. Happy 2010 everybody! To forewarn you, my plating and photography skills leave much to be desired, but I contend that it doesn't matter what it looks like as long as it tastes good.

...or at least that's what I tell myself after every spectacular plating failure.

Anyway, let's get to the grub!

The other night I prepared an all-out feast for myself and my boy. A few of the items are ones that I've perfected through years and years of dedicated eating, the others I co-opted and made my own. I like to think of the meal as an ode to North Africa, along with those who raped and pillaged it (big ups to France and Italy! England, your food sucked).

White Bean Bisque (courtesy of Serious Eats)

I made a few changes to Kerry Saretsky's recipe. For starters, I forgot to buy a shallot, so that went out the window. Also, garlic chips didn't excite me, so they didn't get made. I used mascarpone instead of butter - I do that in recipes because somehow it seems healthier to me (although it's entirely possible that's all a delusion). However, to counter any (real or imaginary) health benefits, I decided to use a little pancetta. Although I'm not the biggest fan of swine (what good daughter of a muslim could be? oh, that's right, the daughter of a muslim who likes mortadella), my boyfriend is a fiend for the pig and he appreciates it anywhere, in anything. I also used half and half in lieu of heavy cream.

All in all, the bisque was much more flavorful than I had imagined. I think the pancetta gave it just enough smokey goodness. It was a relatively elegant way to start our feast. (Pssst...after eating leftovers for a few days, I grew tired of elegance and threw some hot sauce on that shit. It was good. I swear!).

Tabbouleh

My tabbouleh was simple and traditional. Bulgur, parsley, mint, salt, pepper, onions, tomatoes, olive oil and a ton of lemon juice. This dish is on my list of foods I'd ask for while eating my last death-row meal.

Roasted Red Pepper Hummus

Chickpeas, glorious chickpeas. Why anybody would buy the store-bought stuff when hummus is so easy (and kinda fun) to make is beyond me. I season the heck out of my hummus - cumin, coriander, just a little five spice, paprika, cayenne, garlic, parsley, salt and pepper. Olive oil, tahini and lemon juice galore. If you stop there you have a really delicious basic hummus (with a lot of kick - if you love cayenne as much as I do). When I'm making veal kofta, I like to add roasted red pepper into the equation, inserting flavors that are traditionally Italian into something otherwise very N-African/Middle Eastern (*insert crude joke about my conception and/or current dating choices here*).

Veal Kofta (making a meal)

Kofta, for those of you who don't know, is what happens when a meatball and kebab have a baby. Chopped meat (usually lamb or beef) is mixed with rice or bulgur, eggs and spices. My version was made of veal and breadcrumbs, but spiced with cinnamon, cumin, coriander, paprika, cayenne, parsley, garlic and onion. And yes, hot sauce (preferably Mamoun's, but, truthfully, I've never met a hot sauce I didn't like). Nestled in each was a few golden raisins because I like to counter the spiciness. I fried them in olive oil and served them alongside the tabbouleh and hummus. My boyfriend chose to have his in a sandwich with (just decent, inauthentic) aish, the tabbouleh and hummus piled atop. Yeah, you can see a bottle of hot sauce in the background. I told you...

Grilled Pears a la Mode (also from Serious Eats)

It was Curious George approved. Don't ask. The bf's a weirdo. By now I was totally stuffed, but who could pass up such ooey-gooey goodness? I adhered to the recipe this time, save for the use of my George Foreman grill. Don't hate - it did the job. I also opted for vanilla bean because the little black specks make a difference, damnit.

And then I lapsed into a food coma - the true mark of success.